I watched the sunrise this morning. It would have been beautiful except for the fact that I hadn’t slept at all. I’m plagued with chronic insomnia. My Dr’s want to medicate me with pills I’ve taken before that either never worked or I’ve become “immune” to. They prescribe what they feel is best despite my repeated assurances that pill won’t work. Time out of my life. Money out of my pocket. And I walk away feeling unheard, undeserving, doubted, and unimportant. Melatonin, Tylenol PM, Ambien, whiskey cocktail anyone? If you’re like me, you *might* get 3 hours of fitful sleep in 18 hours or so.
What’s the longest I’ve gone without natural sleep? Almost 4 days, and it was a wild ride. The doctor was like, “Well, you should have just passed out by now. Hmmm.” FUCK OFF. I should have fallen asleep 4 days ago, asshole. No kidding, something is wrong. YES I should have fallen asleep by now. LOSER with an MD. Let’s restate the obvious, shall we? There is no salvation for me. If any is to be had whatsoever, I’m obviously going to have to crawl out of it myself. Like a scene from “The Ring.”
Call me “Samara”
No. Not really.